Lyrics

3 EP -- Stripper Vicar

STRIPPER VICAR

Dear Mavis I'm compelled to write this letter
In the hope that you may soon be getting better
I've a feeling you should go and see a doctor
If you haven't then you know you really oughta
I was worried so I went to see the vicar
But before I could confess he first confessed to be a stripper

Dear Mavis it was very strange to see him
So I thought I'd write and ask for your opinion
Should I grass on him, report him to the cardinal
Or whether I should egg him on to turn professional
If I dob on him they'll call him plastic scouser
But the only thing the stripper vicar wears is plastic trousers

Mavis' opinion is all we really seek
Mavis' opinion is all we...

Should we lie while he's still alive
Should we lie while he's still alive
'Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it

Dear Mavis thought I'd follow up my letter
Drop a line about the fate of our poor vicar
Very tragically his time on earth is ended
Found him gagged and bound in stockings and suspenders
Dear Mavis if you tell us what your thoughts are
And I hope that they're not biased 'cos you are the vicar's daughter

Mavis' opinion is all we really seek
Mavis' opinion is all we...

Should we lie now that he has died
Should we lie now that he has died
'Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it

And we know him as our vicar
And by night a part-time stripper
And the vicar got suspended
In his stockings and suspenders
And he's making wine from water
While he dresses like his daughter
And we know that he's a rip off
'Cos we've seen him with his kit off

Should we lie now that he has died
Should we lie now that he has died
'Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it

THE EDGE

Cast your stone now he who never sins
Clearly all your roles are now defined
(You've got yours but I have broken mine)
Simply just reflections of
My honest professional belief that I am God
(I am God)

Stop me before I go over the edge
Stop me before I go over the edge
Stop me before I...

Happy children specially in need
(Send them to the dentist they will bleed)
Before you get to know exhesitate
(Could be gay or could be straight)
Your mental state which separates
The action from intention, wash your hands
(Wash your hands)

Only for tinsel

THE DUCHESS

Photographic duchess, cousin of the queen
I've been infatuated duchess since I knew you had the queen

It's the way you move in castle grounds
You are the cousin of the queen for Christ's sake

Duchess I will like you
And that says a lot for me
I'd like you even better duchess
If she died and you were queen

Regal by appointment, relation to the queen
I thought you were attractive duchess
But that clinched it all for me

Sometimes you're here at my side
And sometimes you travel in time
I don't believe that wherever you travel
You'd get an assistant like mine

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE LYRICAL TRAINSPOTTER

I'm writing these words like the fool that I am
Trying to say something good like the person
But it's all just a sham 'cos the writer I am not
Could say anything, you'd believe them
Just your A-typical Boy-girl-girl-boy androgynous
Play on a publican's decoy
'Cos I had to drop out 'cos the Art School was sad and
If you believe all of that you're a bigger fool than me

The lyrics aren't supposed to mean that much
They're just a vehicle for a lovely voice
They aren't supposed to mean that much

Lyrics mean nothing, don't right any wrongs
In fact I'm not having them on this
You say they mean nothing, just gobbledy-gook
But just look at yourself, you're not clever enough
Understanding the truth, you are so out of touch
You believe all of this, you can't see it's a spoof
Understand all the words when they don't even rhyme
And I'm losing the rhythm and the whole thing's getting wierder and wierder

They all believe me
It's all so easy now

NO ONE KNOWS US

Winter, Scruffy wakes at dawn
Cold out, snow begins to fall
Birthday, tears in her eyes for me
For to see, yeah

Me and Scruffy, we float above the crowd
Scruffy's birthday, balloons are all around
No one knows us, but we don't really care
Today, it all goes our way

Floating high above the street
Laughing at people down beneath
Wierdos, but we don't really care
Today, things go our way, yeah

Me and Scruffy, we float above the crowd
Scruffy's birthday, balloons are all around
No one knows us, but we don't really care
Today, things go our way

What will we do when she's gone
What will we do when she's gone
What will we do wheb she's gone
Now Scruffy's gone

THINGS KEEP FALLING OFF BUILDINGS

Things keep falling off buildings
Things keep falling into my path
I keep on dodging projectiles
They fall from scaffolds on building sites

Falling before me to save
Scraping for forgiveness
You tell me that
I know and you know we're the same

Sitting up here with my pear tree
I piss on everybody who I should see
I'm twice as angry as you are
You're half as happy as I could be

All lyrics written by Paul Draper